What do you want to be when you grow up? 

 I didn’t know I would be 37 to finally realize the true answer.  

The older I get, the more thankful I am because I realize many people never discover their own answer, even if they are hunting for it as rabidly as I did.

More than a decade ago, the very first day of 2015, marked one of the most important days of my life.

I decided to jump in head first and become a full-time artist.  

Okay, "head first" is a little dramatic since the choice was a gradual one.

Fine. I admit it. I sss-llll---oooooowly  made my way into the water one inch of my body at a time.

I started selling artwork in 2007, but I also had a full-time job in marketing which I also loved.  I marveled at how both, insync, would help me be more effective and opportunistic at both.  This made the slow way the only way.

After some years, it was becoming crystal clear in my life that I had to choose just one career to maximize its potential. 

By trying to tackle both, I was not fully embracing just one.

Finally, I understood there were too many reasons why I had to choose to become an artist.

Life as an artist does not come without its challenges.  

Perhaps the biggest one is the game of self-doubt I play nearly every day.  I find this challenge to be commonplace for artists of all types, but knowing that fact doesn’t seem to comfort me much.   Are my creative outputs interesting and unique?  Do they make people pause for a moment?  Does making my art matter to anyone? Does it enhance my surroundings and those that dwell in it?  Do I make the world a better place?

The guilt of a selfish endeavor like creating art can be consuming at times.  Doctors are healing people and teachers are inspiring kids, and I’m trying to build a pretty picture.  It can feel

insignificant.

What gets me through it.

I know that all I have to do is have one single picture affect one person positively.  It could be a little visual reminder that makes someone smile.  It could be a big, impactful wall splash that nobody saw coming.  I have to cling onto that as most artists do.  

An artist must own the fact that a successful mission is subtle, abstract, and can be hard to detect at times since emotions are silent.

I have learned.

The most effective pursuit of art means your ego will be left in the dust.  You simply cannot pursue both simultaneously.  I think you have to concoct the perfect blend of bravery and carelessness. You must separate yourself from judgment of your work and never let it stand in the way of failure.  The moment you block your ideas is the moment you lose as an artist.  Art simply requires pure vulnerability.

As an artist, you are the judge--not the jury.  Your art is the evidence you deem permissable, but the jury--your audience-- ulitimately decides the verdict.